Avengeful Hangover
by Auttzthoughtz
Summary: It's time for Clint's bachelor party and guess where Tony wants to take them? And, with his record, of course things don't go according to plan. Stony/ Clintasha...and just general fun times with the Avengers clan! Enjoy! :)


"Come on, it's just a Bachelor Party!" Tony exclaims, trying to hook Natasha on the idea after finally having Clint let him approach Natasha about it. "It's a thing, and it will be two nights in Vegas, and he will come back clean as a whistle. He maybe will come back with a bit of a hangover, but just some plain old fun."

Natasha narrows her eyes, pondering it for a few minutes before finally answering. "Fine, but all of you go. Except for Fury, because that's a given. But you better bring Bruce and Phil, I have a feeling you will need a babysitter Stark."

Tony sighs. "I am so hurt you don't trust me, but that's fine. It wouldn't be a party without all of us, except for Fury because he won't come. And you girls can't come because, well that just won't do because it's a guy thing. But, by all means, Stark credit card for a bachelorette while we are off gallivanting!"

"Then you are allowed to go," Natasha says with a small grin.

Tony lights up like a small child. "Thank you, thank you, THANK YOU!" He leans forward to kiss her on the cheek before running off to find the others.

"And, Tony, don't forget if anything happens to Clint and he's not back on time-"

"I know, I know, you'll have our heads!" Tony replies over his shoulder before running off to the living room to spread the news. "She's all for it, guys!"

"We are to have this party of bachelor, but Hawk Man explained 'bachelor' means man without romantic relationship? How does that make sense?" Thor asks with a confused expression on his face.

"It's to celebrate the last time one can ever feel single," Bruce says as he walks in behind Tony. "I didn't know we were all invited, but Nat texted me to make sure Coulson and I were coming to babysit. Really, Tony, that's sad."

Tony shrugs. "It was her condition, and it means we get a party. You will have fun, and I promise not to poke you with sharp objects. Plus, it's not for me, it's for Clint. Who, by the way, has received the text and is excitedly packing his bags as we speak. I suggest the rest of you do the same!"

"Not that I don't like Clint, but I don't think Sharon will like it much if I come," Steve replies quietly.

"How many times do I have to say, if she's that awful let it go!" Tony exclaims loudly. "Come on, Pepper has agreed to let Bruce come, right Bruce-y?"

"Yeah," Bruce says, rubbing the back of his head. "She may have smacked me for it, but you know, for the purposes of helping make sure Clint is ready for his wedding, it is fine."

"See, that's what a good girlfriend does!" Tony says to Steve, who when he turns back is on the phone with his angry girlfriend.

"Yes, it's just for Clint's purposes," Steve talks quickly into the phone. "Yes, Tony's planning it, but he's not as immature as you think- TONY!"

Tony yanks the phone from Steve's hand and starts bragging. "Shut it, Sharon. It's Clint's Bachelor Party. We are going to lots of strip clubs and bars and not to whatever boring place Steve might've said, and you will suck it up! Goodbye hag!"

Steve grits his teeth. "Tony, you are-"

Tony laughs. "What, you can fix it later. Right now," Tony puts his hands on Steve's shoulders and starts pushing him out of the room, "you need to get packing! We have a trip to go on!"

Steve reluctantly leaves the room. Thor looks up from his seat, grinning. "When will you tell the Man in Spandex of your feelings?"

Tony glares at him. "So not the time, and how would you even know that Thor?"

"It's a bit obvious," Coulson says, hoisting up bags in his arms. "I'm packed to go, and I have bags for myself, Thor and Bruce. Tony do you need to pack your own, or do I need to do it?"

"You know, Phil, you don't actually have to babysit. I could always send you to see that cellist while we're away," Tony suggests softly.

"Nice try at changing the subject," Bruce says while laughing. "Are you trying to use this trip as an excuse to woo Steve?"

"Partially, possibly," Tony said, furrowing his eyebrows. "Shut up! My bag is already packed upstairs. If you want to fetch it for me it would be appreciated. And, I'm just trying to be polite."

"Thank you for the offer, but rules are rules and Natasha is a friend," Phil said before heading upstairs to fetch the leftover bags.

Tony went over to the couch. "Okay, Thor buddy, we know the ground rules?" Thor shakes his head. "No hammer, no tackling, and no drawing immense amounts of attention to your god abilities. We clear?"

"Then what are we doing for fun, Man of Iron?" Thor joked.

Tony smiles brightly. "Don't worry. It's going to be a night we'll never forget."

*In Vegas, Next Morning*

Everything is spinning. Did they even make it to Vegas? Nobody could remember. There were a lot of pit stops on the way there. Wait, yes, they must've made it. They were out in the wilderness, but Tony could practically still see their hotel from where they were laying.

"Ugh, my head," Tony mumbles as he gets up to scout out who else was out there with him. The first person he spotted, dangerously close to his side, was Steve. He smiles, leaning down to poke at the super soldier. Steve jostles around in his sleep, unwilling to wake up.

When he finally does wake up, he stares up at Tony and immediately started laughing. "Tony…um, what are you wearing?"

Tony looks down to see himself in what almost looks like stripper's outfit. Tony looks back up and shrugs. "I…I have no idea. And, I didn't know you brought a tux."

"Well, I mean, I don't remember either," Steve said as he sat up. "Last thing I remember was you saying you had something that could actually get me drunk, which was like alcohol with I think twice the percent that a normal person could intake per bottle, and it worked. My head's killing me."

"Did…wow, welcome to the world of hangovers," Tony says softly, chuckling as he reaches up his hand to comfort Steve. "It's alright, really. I can't remember last night very well, but maybe the snoring god of Asgarde can tell us what's up. Hey, Thor, buddy?"

Thor jostles a bit in his sleep before finally hearing Tony and jolting up. "Man of Iron! I do not know where Hawk Man went!"

"What do you mean you don't know?" Steve says cautiously. "We…we lost Clint?"

"Uh, not the biggest thing here," Tony says slowly, drawing his attention to their hands.

"Man of Iron you are a fantastic dancer, much like Loki," Thor responds boldly first. "I think your dance on the pole, it appeased Steve."

"What do you mean-" Steve stopped talking as he looked down and saw a ring on his finger, then looked over to see an identical one on Tony's. "Wait, we…we got married last night? Based on what he's describing, I married a freaking hooker."

Tony angrily glares at Steve. Thor does the same. "HOW DARE YOU, SHE'S A NICE LADY!"

"Okay, Thor, _so_ not a she," Tony says with a grin. "But, at least the sentiment is there. I'm going for a walk."

Steve gets up from the floor. "I'm coming with you. We need to talk about this."

"What I need is a minute to myself, I swear if you follow me right now I will summon the suit and shoot you," Tony says quickly. "Who knows? Maybe I will find Clint on the way. That'd be bonus. I will meet you two back at the hotel, which is somewhere that way if you can see."

Tony walks away huffing, and Steve turns to Thor. "Why is acting so strangely? Was it not a natural reaction? He didn't even react!"

Thor shakes his head. "You hurt Man of Iron. Man of Iron cares about you, and you insult him by calling him a hooker and yelling at him for something that you were the one that suggested."

"I," Steve pauses for a second. "I suggested that?"

Thor smiles brightly. "Yes, and Man of Iron was unsure at first because he thought you were going to try and just pull a joke on him. But he reluctantly accepted and he was really happy and I don't think you consummated in, because as far as I know other than losing Clint none of us left the other."

"I need to talk to him," Steve says slowly. "Do you think he'll actually shoot me if I chase after him?"

"No, I think he will if you don't," Thor answered honestly, then walked away looking for others screaming for them.

Steve sighed. He had not expected this, he hadn't even thought about it really. It was stupid. They were best friends and they would remain that way, and whatever this was…they could figure it out together.

It took Steve a good ten minutes to find Tony, but when he did Tony seemed to be having a bit of an anxiety attack. "Tony- TONY!"

Tony looks back at Steve, tears in his eyes. "No, I mean, no, but I'm just a stupid hooker and I thought I said I'd shoot you?"

"Go ahead then, I'm not going anywhere," Steve said, kneeling down and taking a shaking Tony into his arms. "I'm sorry, that wasn't fair."

"What's not fair is that it was your idea and I made you promise me that it wasn't just the stupid alcohol and that this wouldn't happen in the morning. Because maybe you haven't noticed that I'm a bit of a mess? I don't do relationships and I definitely don't do weddings-" Tony was cut off by Steve.

"Why would you do that for me then?" Steve asks softly.

"Because, I trust you and you are my best friend and it's somewhat something I've wanted for a while now because actually I'm just the tiniest bit, and don't you get angry at me because maybe it's a bit more than the tiniest, bit in love with you," Tony says quickly before burying his face in Steve's shoulder.

"I…love you too," Steve replies in a soft tone.

"You sure that's not going to go away?" Tony asks quietly. "I mean, I don't want you calling me a hooker again and running off scared."

Steve leans forward and captures Tony's lips with his. He revels in one soft kiss he never really knew he'd need to define the rest of his life. When he pulls away, he's chuckling. "I'm not going anywhere."

"When we get home, maybe we can have a better wedding? No bachelor parties though, I think we've proven our lack of skill at those," Tony says in good humor.

"Actually, well, I wouldn't say that," Clint says, chuckling as he comes out from between the trees with Coulson, Bruce, and Thor behind him. "It was pretty fun, and luckily there were enough of us that I didn't get completely lost."

"That's – that's fantastic," Tony replies. "However, still no more bachelor parties. I'm done with that."

"You still look like a roasted turkey though," Bruce says to Clint. "Sorry we didn't realize we left you on the roof sooner."

"Like I care? I'm used to shit like that on Special Ops missions with Nat," Clint replies with a shrug. "Speaking of Nat, let's get me home to get married."


End file.
